Thursday, July 31, 2008

Realities of war...

I want to first thank everyone that is supporting my brother and I. And also thank you for the support you are showing to all the Soldiers over here.

Well, some days are good...some days are bad. Today, today is a bad day. The only thing I know to do is sit here, type, vent, and listen to some sappy country/rock music......bad days...yeah. I think I'd rather have a boring day than actually have something to do like today. Unfortunately this is another one of those times...another one of 'those stories' ....another one of those times where when I get back home you ask..."what happened over there?".....and you'll probably get that response..."I don't want to talk about it." Damn, bro....I need my back porch right about now. I'm lost for words....the thoughts of what happened this morning...the series of events...and how we can do better are consuming me....In front of me right now is the wall of my chu/room. And on that wall there are pictures taped up to cheer me up on a bad, lonely of Courtney petting Otis on the front porch, sitting next to daddy at a restaurant, the family picture, my wife, and just don't can all be gone in a blink of an eye. I don't think I'm the best Medic in the world, maybe this is getting me ready for something crazy one day. Maybe seeing the things I'm seeing and being a part of is preparing me for something just absolutely crazy one day....kinda like the calm before the storm...even though it doesn't seem too calm to I started, I don't think that I'm the best Medic....but, but I just hope and think that when push comes to shove.....I'll be ready. I'll be ready to do the basics...I'll be ready to recognize what needs done. Warm, not cold. Loose not stiff. Less than one hour. None of that made sense to anyone but me...over look it.... It can all be gone in a blink of an eye....

Please pray for our Soldiers. Please pray for their families. Pray for us....

I wrote that earlier today...the computer messed up and I thought I lost it, but it saved thank goodness.

I almost want to start another entry....but I think I'll just keep this one going.

Will this day ever end? Well...will it? It's amazing how you can be just hanging around one minute, get a call the next, and your day just goes right down the tubes. I'm not talking about a call from the states...I'm talking about a call saying "Let's go!!" "Go here, go there, Soldier down over here, one coming in on a helicopter...eta 5 minutes" Whatever the case...we just pick up, get our gear, and go. Never knowing what will happen next. But, I guess we do it everyday in our lives and we just don't realize it until we're in a position like this. It gives a whole new respect to Emergency Reponse folks back in the states. You ever feel like just cryin.... you ever feel like your bad just won't end. I guess it will when your head hits the pillow...or does it? Does it end there? It should. But it doesn't always happen that way. I can't stand days that won't end. I shouldn't be sitting here right now. Selfishly I ended my day just a little too soon. And now that I think about it, I feel bad about it. I should be in uniform, standing somewhere else right now..... shame on me. Some days just won't end. I was talking to some Soldiers last week about what I do compared to what they do. Each of us wishing we had the other's job. It's days like this that will cause me to do my best so that they don't get the chance to do my job. If they only knew. If they only knew that we don't have bad days because we don't get along with each other, or the "Command" sent down some stupid crap that makes no sense. Our bad days aren't caused by rediculous things we hear that some of our other Soldiers in the Company are doing....silly crap. Our days are caused by reasons I can't say. Does that say enough? I talked to one of our Soldiers on the phone today, he asked me how I was, and I replied..."it's a bad day" and he responded "yeah, I feel ya." No he doesn't. No he doesn't. He doesn't feel anything. He's having a bad day because people are yelling at him for paperwork. That's it, paperwork. But, on the other hand, my bad day compares to nothing like what others are going through right now. My bad day is simple compared to others. So....I guess each of us have our own level of bad days. And when will they end? When will the day end? I have some bad days that happened a month ago....I'm still waiting for them to end.

Somewhere in Iraq
SGT Wormy Strader



MOM said...

I had a bad day as well but I KNOW my bad day was good compared to your bad day. I did not want to be at work (because of work) and just wanted to go hide somewhere.
I am sorry that you had a bad day that will not quit.
Praying for you all and askin for God's grace of comfort for all.
Love ya

Susie said...

My heart goes out to you.

I continue to pray for you and your brother and those serving with the two of you.